We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
