then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize