this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
