She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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