A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you win again, gameday.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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