I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
