Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
