So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
