Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
