He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
