Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
