haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
