Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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