ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
