after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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