It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
