you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
