I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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