I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
