ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
