everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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