But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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