She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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