you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
