im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
And then he peed in my hair
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