He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
