i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
