That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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