We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just gargled with NyQuil
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
