Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
