How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
