I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
