I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have aggressive nipples.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize