I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
