I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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