even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
