So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
