K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
