I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
