Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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