unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize