So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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