so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
