My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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