I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
only if we run a train.
done.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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