you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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