and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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