I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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