Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
