Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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