I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
