Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
