Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
