when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
