I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
not ubering you a puppy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We smell like vodka and hangover
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