How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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