i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
