we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
