I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
