What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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