He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
my liver is dry heaving
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize