D3 body, D1 cock
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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