So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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