he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
