OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
