Can i not drive my cunt home
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
