; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Someone came in the potted fern
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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